


Time Can Heal But This Won’t

by GilgaNyan (NarryEm)



Series: 1989 Inspired songfics [8]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Safer Sex, Shower Sex, Songfic, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:16:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/GilgaNyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are certain things that time can’t heal. One of them is betrayal. The other is watching someone you used to care for be happy with another person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Can Heal But This Won’t

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “ _Bad Blood_ ” by Taylor Swift. I wanted to play with the idea of flashbacks and parallels and somehow having NoiAo and KouNoi for story and the song’s mood seemed fitting what with the frenemies and stuff.

Koujaku is on his way to open up his shop when he sees them. Blood boils in his veins and he makes a sharp turn to avoid them.

“Koujaku!” Aoba calls out. _Damn it_ , he curses mentally.

“Yo, Aoba,” he greets nonchalantly as he whirls around to face his friend. He does his best not to look at Aoba’s companion.

“Are you working today?” Aoba asks, his light brown eyes gentle and sweet. They have been friends since childhood and Koujaku won’t do anything that will jeopardize it.

“Yep. Always the tone of surprise.” He reaches out to mess with Aoba’s hair. “You’ve been trimming your own hair again, haven’t you?” he accuses.

Aoba blushes. “Don’t look at it. I feel bad now that a professional is appraising it.”

“Aoba,” Aoba’s companion cuts in and Koujaku can’t help but look at the speaker. Noiz. His striking pale green eyes are neutral but the curl of his lips suggest otherwise. “We were on our way to our lunch date, remember? The reservation’s in ten minutes so we better hurry.”

It’s sickening, the way Aoba’s face glows under Noiz’s attention. “Of course. I’ll see you around, Koujaku!”

Koujaku fakes a smile. “Later.”

Once the happy couple is out of his sight, he hurries to his shop and slams the door open. He takes longer than usual to prepare for the day’s work and when the shop is open, he flirts with each and every one of his customers. He knows that he’s in one of his moods and he doesn’t give a fuck. Of course Noiz had to go and flaunt what he and Aoba has in Koujaku’s face. That’s just the way he is.

Fucking brat.

 

 

-

 

 

“Hey, what’s the best way to get to the electronics store?” a blasé voice asked gruffly.

Koujaku looked up from the spot on the floor that he had been sweeping. The guy was blond, green-eyed and obviously a foreigner.  It was weird to hear him speak fluent Japanese with barely any accent.

“Take the 147th street and take a right on the corner where the grocery store is. It should be the second building that you see.”

“Thanks,” the stranger said. “Hey, think you can show me how to get there?”

Koujaku held up the broom pointedly. “I’m working, in case you haven’t noticed.”

The blond smirked. “I can see that. And I can also see that the sun is setting and there’s no one in the shop.”

Koujaku scowled down at the German teenager. “Are you coming on to me?” he finally realised.

The smirk on the bloke’s mouth only grew into a full-blown grin. “Depends. You open to showing some foreigner around your lovely town?”

“Electronics store, yeah?” Koujaku sighed.

“Yup.”

 

Ten minutes later, Koujaku found himself closing down his shop and walking along the German’s—Noiz—side as he pointed out the little tidbits about what they were walking through.

“What’s that?” Noiz pointed at a small tempura stand. Like a little kid, he walked over and Koujaku had no choice but to follow him.

“Takoyaki,” he explained.

“Cool. Can I please get three?” Noiz said to the vender. The vendor nodded and Noiz paid with his mobile. Koujaku was starting to notice that Noiz was something like a technology junkie. He was constantly on his mobile phone and his watch kept beeping with incoming notifications and stuff.

“So you don’t even know what kinda food this is but you’ve no problem sticking it in your mouth?” Koujaku questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Noiz raised an eyebrow right back. “I’ll stick pretty much anything in my mouth as long as I think I’ll enjoy it.”

Koujaku felt a blush creep down to his neck when he noticed the double entendre and he had to fight the urge to smack the brat upside his head. “Do you naturally have a filthy mind or does it come naturally to you?”

“You’ll have to hang out with me long enough to find that out for yourself.” Noiz took a bite of the takoyaki and murmurs, “Salty.”

The audacity of Noiz to assume that Koujaku would deign to spend even more time with him rubbed him all the wrong ways. But just as Koujaku was about to retort, they round the corner that leads them straight to their destination.

“There you go,” Koujaku huffed. “I’m gonna leave you to it, then.”

“Wait.” It was uncharacteristic, the way Noiz’s arm was outstretched halfway awkwardly and the way his green eyes wavered with uncertainty. “I know you didn’t really wanna endure my company so at least let me buy you dinner.”

Koujaku wanted to say no, to tell Noiz to get lost. But his stomach spoke for him and getting a free dinner out of playing tour guide sounded alright. He was terrible at cooking anyway. “Fine.”

Inside the store, Noiz was a different person altogether. He spoke with the clerk with enthusiasm and he pointed out various objects in the store the way a toddler would with toys. Something fond and fuzzy grew inside of Koujaku’s heart and he frowned at that.

“Hey, old man,” Koujaku bulked at that. He had told the brat his name but it was apparent that Noiz thrived on pissing off other people. “Can you come over here for a sec?”

Koujaku rolled his eyes and reluctantly complied. Noiz was looking at a pair of cubes and a booklet with some designs. “Which colour scheme?” Noiz pointed out a few. They were all glaringly bright and neon, and Koujaku briefly wondered if that’s what the younger men are into these days.

He glanced at Noiz’s outfit. He was wearing a lime green shirt and his trousers had green accents as well. “The green and navy,” he answered with a shrug.

“Cool,” Noiz nodded to the clerk and they went over the details.

“What are the cubes for?” Koujaku asked as they exited the store.

“They’re the next level of mobile communication and internet browsing device,” Noiz explained. “Think of it as your laptop in a smaller, cuter form. Where do you wanna eat?”

Koujaku pondered for a moment. “There’s this seafood place in the Eastern District.”

“Okay.”

 

Dinner with Noiz was surprisingly bearable. Despite his stoic and childish manners, Noiz turned out to be thoughtful and intelligent.

“No way,” Koujaku interjected.

“It’s an actual job,” Noiz smirked.

“But working as an executive at an internet-based advertisement consulting company? How old are you?”

Noiz scoffed. “Nineteen. Nepotism has its perks. Ever since I got accepted into specialization secondary school, my parents have been training to take over their damn company when I become of age. I’d rather not ride on their coattails for my whole life so when they showed interest in branching out internationally, I jumped on the chance to move out to Japan. Tokyo was interesting but I like the slow life out here too.”

Koujaku nodded in agreement. Living on the mainland with his father and his official wife had felt stifling. He was glad when his mom and he managed to get out and practically escape to Midorijima. “Doubt you get to see beaches like here in Germany.”

“Up north, you can. But I like it better here. For one, my parents can’t breathe down my neck as much.” Noiz reached for more water and poured himself another glass of it. He downed it in another second.

Koujaku smirked. Some of the dishes they had ordered had abundance of wasabi in them and he wondered if Noiz wasn’t quite used to the Japanese cuisine yet. “Can’t handle the heat?” he couldn’t resist taunting as he bit into the dumpling that’s a quart-full of wasabi.

“Shut up,” Noiz grumbled not unlike a child.

 _He’s cute_ , Koujaku thought.  He immediately wanted to slap himself for allowing that thought to pass through his mind.

After the dinner, Noiz all but dragged Koujaku to a nearby ice cream store and tried half the flavours before finally deciding on two. Koujaku didn’t eat any and watching Noiz lick at the cone in a decidedly sensual manner had him squirming the tiniest bit inside.

“Something the matter?” Noiz teased.

“No,” Koujaku replied perhaps too quickly.

“If you say so.” Noiz snaked his tongue out and caught a drop of melted ice cream that was starting to drip down the side of the cone.

“I’m leaving,” Koujaku announced as he stood up.

“See you around, then.”

Like hell he was.

 

 

+

 

 

The alarm beeps loudly and Koujaku groans as he fumbles around to shut it off. Drinking with Mizuki is not one of the brightest ideas and Koujaku thanks his lucky stars that it’s a Sunday and that he isn’t expected to open up the shop.

 _“Just a few shots and you’ll be back to your lady-charming self,”_ Mizuki insisted as he refilled Koujaku’s shot glass with the fourth serving of spiced rum.

“ _Yeah, Koujaku-san!_ ” Kou chirped in, clinking his own glass with Koujaku’s. “ _You’ve been so moody lately and we’ve been worried_.”

Koujaku is lucky to have a group of friends like them, he really is. They really are like family and he’s got no doubt that there will be something greasy to cure his horrible hangover waiting on the kitchen table if he can muster the energy to crawl out of his bed.

“Ungghhh,” he groans when his mobile rings. He debates whether or not if he should let it go to voice mail. The shrill ringtone doesn’t do fuck-all to soothe his pounding temples so he hunts his phone down and accepts the call.

“Koujaku?” Aoba’s voice filters in. It’s half static and the background din is too loud for Koujaku to hear him clearly. “Hey, can you hear me well?”

“Yeah,” he answers. “You’re the worst friend,” he grouses.

“You went out drinking with Mizuki last night, didn’t you?” Aoba accuses. Koujaku grunts and Aoba laughs. Someone talks to Aoba and Aoba has to cover the receiver for a few seconds to reply. But Koujaku has no problem recognising whom Aoba is with.

“I was gonna ask if you could bring my headphones to the ferry port but I think I can manage without them for a few days. Noiz is taking me to see some festivals in mainland, have I told you already?” The excitement in Aoba’s voice is adorably apparent and normally, Koujaku would be affected by it too and offer some genuine encouragement. Not now, though. He feels as though his stomach is trying to churn butter inside of it.

“Have fun,” he croaks.

“Will do. I’ll bring back souvenirs!” More muffled conversations pass and Aoba laughs. “The ferry is leaving soon so I gotta hang up. Bye, and be kinder on your liver, ya hippo!”

“Whatever.” The line goes dead and Koujaku stares at the blank screen for a moment too long.

Fucking rich brat, throwing his money everywhere. If not for Aoba’s sickeningly love-struck tone and sparkle in his eyes whenever he talks about Noiz, Koujaku would have thought that Noiz’s interest in Aoba was frivolous and fleeting. Turns out, what they have is truly from the heart and not just of the body.

Fucking brat.

 

 

-

 

 

“Brat, what did I tell you about showing up uninvited?” Koujaku snapped as he let Noiz into his house (because he was a gentleman who had been brought up with proper manners).

Noiz grinned. His blond hair was damp and slightly darkened from the rain. It had been raining since mid-morning, alternating between lazy drizzles to harsh downpour. Raindrops had clumped his lightly coloured eyelashes together and his green eyes seemed brighter than the usual. “Wanna get the fuck away for a while?”

“Away where?”

The blond plopped down onto the sofa and brandished a pair of tickets. “Sapporo. We’re going to see the Sapporo Snow Festival and visit some hot springs while we’re there too. You don’t see much snow here, yeah?”

“You—you can’t just do that! I have a shop that I run and it’s highly irresponsible for me to ditch it.”

Noiz rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, old man. It’s healthy for the mind to leave work for a while. Work hard, play harder. And I do mean harder.” Noiz didn’t even have to add a wink for Koujaku to catch on to his drift.

“You’re incorrigible,” Koujaku muttered. He knew better than to argue with a pigheaded brat. “Should I pack up or have you got that planned out as well?”

Noiz only grinned in reply.

 

One hour and two sandwiches later, Koujaku found himself at the ferry terminal waiting for the boarding announcements. Midorijima did have an airport but Noiz must have known that Koujaku would have chewed him out for spending too much money on him. He preferred the boats to planes anyway. At least if anything were to happen, he wouldn’t have to worry about falling a thousand metres from the sky.

“Oi,” Noiz called out and Koujaku looks up. Noiz was carrying what looks like a box of doughnuts and once again, he was reminded of how young Noiz was. “Want one?”

“No thanks,” Koujaku rebuffed.

Noiz seated himself next to Koujaku and munched on a sprinkle-covered one. “Boyfriends are supposed to share things, aren’t we?”

Koujaku sputtered. What?  Boyfriends?

“Since when were we . . . ?” he trailed off. Preposterous brat!

“I thought it was obvious,” Noiz shrugge. “I don’t whisk just anyone off for the weekend, y’know. Even I have some standards.”

The older man frowned as his mind flashed to a scene where a bunch of German girls and boys are throwing themselves at Noiz, vying for his affection. Noiz had told him—with obvious derision—of the people he had known back in Germany who only wanted him for his family’s money. Koujaku had felt sorry for a kid who had to grow up guarded and closed off to everyone, not knowing the warmth of someone’s love and a caring heart.

“Glad that I passed your tests then,” Koujaku murmured.

Noiz laughed. He didn’t laugh often and when he did, it takes years off his appearance and made Koujaku want to hug him breathless. “Don’t let it get to your head so much, old man.”

“The hell I will.”

Noiz leaned over and gave Koujaku a quick peck on the corner on his lips.

“Don’t do that in a public place!” Koujaku admonished.

“Like I'll actually listen to you.”

 

 

-

 

 

The place that Noiz booked was posh, there was no other way to describe it.

“Damn it,” he growled. Noiz had slinked off to the bathroom for a shower and Koujaku was left on his own to curse out Noiz’s name for being so extravagant and careless with his money. Again. He still hadn’t forgotten that time when Noiz took him out to some restaurant that served a five-course meal. For lunch.

He dropped his bag on the polished hardwood floor and padded over to the tatami mats. He had left his shoes at the entrance and the whole place was set up like an old-fashioned house you would see in historical dramas, or the rich part of cities where the wealthy stuck-ups liked to show off what they had. Even the futons and bedclothes looked that they were costly and were those embroidered silks?

The bathroom door opened and Koujaku sat up straighter on the futon. Steam billowed out from behind Noiz and the brat was completely naked save for a towel wrapped around his waist, not that it was doing a great job of covering him up either. Koujaku had always been equal parts fascinated and intimidated by the fact that a guy eight years his junior had a similar physique as him.

“I’m gonna shower too,” Koujaku announced. He didn’t even make it past Noiz before he was stopped by a hand on his forearm.

“Already?” Noiz smirked. “Thought we could indulge in other activities before you washed off.”

Koujaku fought the urge to stick his tongue out. “I keep feeling like I smell like the bus and the ferry so I’m gonna have to ask you to take a rain check on that.”

Noiz pouted, but the predatory gleam in his eyes belied his childish expression. “Fine,” he retorted.

Koujaku all but escaped to the bathroom. Whilst he was a man who wouldn’t mind a good round of sex or two, he was tired from the day’s worth of travelling and he could definitely use a hot shower to unwind.  The water pressure was divine and the temperature was so easy to control to his liking. He was in the middle of rinsing out his hair when a familiar pair of hands wrapped themselves around his waist.

“No-Noiz!” he gasped as Noiz’s lips grazed the top of his shoulder. “What’re you doing here? You already took your shower.”

“So?” Koujaku could hear the smirk in his voice, that smug asshole. Noiz’s fingers trailed downwards until they curled around Koujaku’s mostly-soft cock. “This can be plenty relaxing too. Let out some steam like you wanted.”

Slim fingers tightened around his dick and he couldn’t stop his hips from bucking into the touch. Nor could he resist leaning back into Noiz’s half-embrace as he turned around. Fair play was about turnabout, wasn’t it? He flashed Noiz a grin of his own as he gripped Noiz’s cock and started to stroke it as well.

“Of course,” he said breezily. Noiz stretched up to his tiptoes to press their lips together. It didn’t even start off soft and gentle; no, they were way past that point in their relationship already. Their kiss was all tongue and teeth as they fought for dominance over the other. Noiz never failed to play dirty with Koujaku and tonight was of no exception. The tip of Noiz’s thumb pressed into the slit on Koujaku’s prick and when his guard was down for a split second, Noiz shoved his tongue inside of Koujaku’s mouth and felt around boldly.

Koujaku broke their kiss with a grunt and pressed their hips flush together. Noiz took the hint and they both wrapped a hand around their cocks and rutted into each other’s touch. Noiz’s fingers were rough and skilful, too clever and well-versed in how to bring Koujaku the most pleasure.

He had long gotten used to the way Noiz made him feel like a horny teenager. Hot water from the shower head continued to drizzle down onto them and heightened the sensation from Noiz’s caresses. Koujaku raked his fingernails down Noiz’s back and that’s really the last straw for Noiz to come.  The feeling of hot come splashing on their stomachs didn’t last long as the hot spray washed it away in mere seconds. But it did help send Koujaku over the edge.

They stayed standing in the shower for a few minutes, catching their breaths with Noiz’s head resting on Koujaku’s chest and Koujaku washing himself in a daze.

“Relaxed?” Noiz had the audacity to ask once he got his breathing under control.

“Yeah.”

 

 

-

 

 

Of course, the brat didn’t stop there. There was a hot spring close by so after spending a day at the festival—and having to stop Noiz from exploding by eating all those snacks and other regional foods—they retired to the hot spring.

Noiz had no qualms about stripping off and stepping into the small pool. He set his towel close by and lounged about as Koujaku took his time getting in.

“I’m not gonna bite,” Noiz joked. “Not unless you ask me to, that is.”

“You’re still not funny, brat,” Koujaku retorted. “Whoa!”

Noiz had tugged on his arm and he would have dunked his face in the hot water if it were not for his fast reflexes. He shook his hair out of his face and glared at Noiz. “What the fuck?”

“We’re on a vacation, for fuck’s sake!” Noiz threw his hands up. “Relax and learn to have a laugh. Why are you so wound up anyway?”

Koujaku tried to fight back the blush on his cheeks. It was all in vain. “This is the first time I’ve gone on a trip with a partner.”

Noiz smiled. “Not even with a woman?” Koujaku shook his head. “Well, then. I’m honoured to have been your first. Must be hard to have firsts at your ripe old age, eh?”

“Why you—” His sharp reply was cut off as Noiz gripped the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss. Koujaku had learnt that it was usually for the best that he played along with Noiz’s whims.

They spent a few minutes making out like a couple of high schoolers before Noiz reached behind him to the towel and pulled out two small packets. “Seriously?” Koujaku remarked as he eyes the lube and condom. “You planned this, didn’t you? Perverted brat.”

“I’m a typical teenager with excessive amounts of hormones,” Noiz gave him a filthy grin. Noiz climbed out of the pool and propped one leg up on the ledge. He tore the lube packet open and spread it on his fingers before he slid one finger inside of him. Koujaku quickly found himself mesmerised as he watched Noiz finger himself open. Noiz had always been a bit of a kinky bastard with a liking for pain so he doesn’t waste time adding another finger.

“Fuck me?” Noiz demands as he pumped three fingers in and out of his ass with lewd, slick sounds.

Koujaku grunted out something that sounded like a yes. Noiz grinned as he slipped back inside the hot spring and coated Koujaku’s dick with the leftover lube. Koujaku plucked the condom from the pile of towel behind Noiz and stood up for a few seconds to put on the condom. Noiz pushed him back down so that Koujaku was sat down and held on to Koujaku’s shoulders as he slowly impaled himself.

 _“Gott du bist so gut dafür,_ ” Noiz breathed out. Koujaku didn’t know a lick of German and he couldn’t be bothered to ask for translations when he had Noiz bouncing up and down in his lap. “ _Ein spaßiger kleiner Ritt, ja?_ ”

Koujaku nodded mindlessly and rocked his hips up to meet Noiz’s downwards movements. It was a perfect rhythm, and the pleasure in his hips crescendoed until his mind was full of thoughts of Noiz. They climaxed around the same time and a part of Koujaku was disgusted by the fact that there was now Noiz’s come floating around in the pool. Noiz seemed happy to leave as soon as he came down from his high and Koujaku suspected that their entire reason for coming to the hot springs was solely for the hot spring sex.

 

 

+

 

 

“Koujaku-san,” the woman squeals and he has to fight back the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he puts on his best charming smile. “How do you know the exact style that I want for my hair?”

“It’s because you’re a wonderful customer who speaks her mind,” he replies, something that he’s said countless times. Women are easy to read, is the thing. They love the attention that he lavishes on them and thinks that the more they see Koujaku, the more he will like them. They love to chat on and on about the silliest things and stab each other in the back when the other woman isn’t looking.

He wishes that he could have read Noiz better.

“Hey!” Aoba says from the door of his shop. “Oh, sorry, thought you wouldn’t be working so close to lunch hour. Granny says that you’ve been looking gaunt lately and insisted that you come over for lunch or something. You don’t have to if you’re busy, though.” Aoba smiles sheepishly and scratches the back of his head.

“No, it’s alright. I’m almost done anyway.” He checks the mirror and predictably, the woman is pouting that Koujaku’s attention has shifted to Aoba. “All done. Are you happy with the results?”

The woman grins. “Of course! Thank you so much! I’ll surely visit again in the future.” He doesn’t miss the way she bats her eyelashes nor the slip of paper that she hands him amongst the bills.

“Always a ladies’ man, eh?” Aoba teases.

Koujaku doesn’t dignify that with a response. He locks up his shop and tunes out most of Aoba’s chatter as they walk to his house. He can smell Tae-san’s wonderful cooking from the door and his stomach rumbles in anticipation.

And drops to his feet when he sees a familiar head sat at the table.

“Noiz?” Aoba gasps. His cheeks glow red and his eyes widen in surprise. “I thought you were working today?”

Noiz smiles, a genuine down-to-earth one that he never showed Koujaku. “My meeting ended early and I had time to see you before my afternoon schedule begins.” He then nods at Koujaku curtly as a way of greeting him. The nerve!

The entire lunch is tense and Koujaku thinks it’s a miracle that Aoba doesn’t pick up on it. Tae-san must have but she doesn’t comment on it.

He makes an excuse not to stay around for dessert and he definitely doesn’t miss the sly smile gracing Noiz’s lips as he hurries out of the Seragaki house.

 

 

-

 

 

“Koujaku,” Tae-san intoned gravely. “Have you noticed that something has changed with Aoba?”

Koujaku shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t been spending a lot of time with him lately.”

He also hadn’t been spending a lot of time with Noiz either. For the past two weeks, Noiz had been complaining about working overtime and apologised for how he couldn’t make time to see Koujaku. Koujaku didn’t mind it much because as much as he enjoyed Noiz’s company, the brat could also be a handful and challenged a lot of Koujaku's beliefs and ways of thinking.

“He’s also been secretive.” Worry crept into her tone and suspicion flashed in her eyes.

“Tae-san,” Koujaku ventured. “I know that Aoba’s had a rocky past but I can assure you that he will never revert to his old behaviour. He wouldn’t do anything that worries you or land himself in some massive problem he can't solve by himself.”

Tae-san sighed. “I know, I know. But he is my stupid grandson and it’s almost like my job to worry about how he might get into problems, intentional or not. Oh well, why don’t you take some doughnuts with you; you’ve been looking down lately too.”

Koujaku chuckled. “Tae-san is the best when it comes to cheering people up.”

“Always the charmer, aren’t you?” she grumbled.

It was silly, and Koujaku knew that he was probably blowing things out of proportion. Both Aoba and Noiz had jobs and sometimes having a job meant that they had periods when they were busy and couldn’t socialize with people as much they would like. And it was just a simple coincidence that both Noiz and Aoba hadn’t been hanging out with him lately.

Later in the evening, after he had closed his shop for the day, he decided to go visit Noiz at his apartment on a whim. They had passed the stage in their relationship where they had each other’s spare key to the house and to his surprise, he found Noiz’s apartment door unlocked.

He also found Aoba in the sofa, sat in Noiz’s lap. And they were kissing. Aoba had his hand down the back of Noiz’s trousers and it appeared that Noiz had his hands on Aoba’s waist.

Koujaku must have made a sound because Aoba’s head tilted sideways and turned around to see Koujaku stood at the doorway.  His face turned bright red as he disentangled himself from Noiz’s embrace and stood up rod-straight.

“Koujaku! Wait!” he heard Aoba’s cries as he bolted out the door and skipped the elevator. He couldn’t think straight, much less take notice of where he was headed. All he could think about was the way Noiz had looked with Aoba, how at ease he had been, and his lack of reaction when he had turned around to face Koujaku.

He stormed into The Black Needle and the moment Mizuki spotted him, his expression morphs into that of concern. “What happened?” Mizuki asked.

“It’s nothing,” Koujaku gritted out. “Can I get some sake?”

Mizuki frowned. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

He glared at his supposed best friend. “Shit happened and people are never what they seem to be. Happy?”

“Not at all. Someone obviously trampled all over your trust and heart and I’m not gonna stand and watch you try to ignore it and drink until you can’t remember why you feel this way.”

Koujaku sighed and avoided looking into Mizuki’s eyes. “I walked in on my lover kissing a friend of mine. Is this good enough of a response or should I go into the gory details?”

Mizuki reached out and patted Koujaku on the shoulder. “I know that nothing I say right now can soothe your heartache but I’m sure that you’ll learn why it happened the way it did. In the meanwhile, feel free to take advantage of our stock of alcohol. Just last week, I put in an order for some foreign fancy shit and it’s real good.”

Koujaku smiled weakly. “Just what I need.”

 

Half an hour and countless drinks later, Koujaku could barely remember why he had wanted to get hammered in the first place. He didn’t even notice that his mobile was going off until Mizuki points it out.

It was Noiz. Of fucking course.

“What?” he snarled. Memory came flooding back and he could feel a compulsion to punch the daylights out of that fucking brat.

“Can we talk?” the blond asked calmly. The nerve of him!

“No. You fucked up, plain and simple. You’re heartless and you never meant when you said all those things to butter me up, did you? You only got close to me to get to _him_!”

A deep sigh came from the receiver. “I’m not going to try and argue with a drunk. Call you later, ‘kay?”

“Fuck off,” Koujaku answered and promptly hung up.

Mizuki said something that he couldn’t quite understand and in a few minutes, he was being ushered back to his house and into his bed.

“Good luck getting out of bed tomorrow,” Mizuki smirked as he places a glass of water by his side. “And please drink this before going to sleep for your sake.”

Koujaku grumbled some generic response and sleep comeoverpowered him surprisingly easily.

 

Morning after was horrid. His mouth tasted like the gutter and the scene in Noiz’s apartment was too vivid in his mind. There were thirteen text messages from Aoba, one from Mizuki, and none from Noiz. He vaguely recalled the brief conversation he had with Noiz last night.

A knock sounded from his door. Despite his headaches, he crawled out of his bed and dragged his feet to the door.

“Morning,” Noiz said as if he didn’t break Koujaku’s heart last night. “Can I come in?”

 _Well, there’s a first for everything,_ Koujaku remarked bitterly. “No,” he started to slam the door but Noiz’s reflexes were too fast. He wedged himself between the door and the frame and stared at Koujaku with determination written all over his face.

“I know what you must be thinking,” Noiz started off and Koujaku snorted. “You think that I started going out with you ‘cause I wanted to get to Aoba. That’s not at all what happened. I liked you; I can barely tolerate other human beings but somehow you caught my attention. When I first met Aoba a few weeks back, I didn’t even know that you two were friends until he showed me a couple pictures from his childhood.

“When you walked into my flat last night, it was a few minutes after Aoba came to me after he was rejected by this dude he was crushing on for a while. He must have thought he loved him and I didn’t know how to make him feel better, you know how I am with words and people. Aoba kissed me out of nowhere. I wanted to stop him but I also didn’t want him to feel like shit all over again.”

Anger bubbles up inside of Koujaku. “I thought we were in a relationship,” he grits out. “Boyfriends. Partners. Whatever you wanna call it doesn’t matter because it all means that we are faithful to each other. We don’t let friends come between us regardless of the situation. I changed so much of my habits for you and this is how you return the favour? You cheated on me, Noiz, and I can’t be with someone like that!”

Noiz scowled. “Fine! I guess it’s over then.”

“It is,” Koujaku affirmed. “Have fun with Aoba. Must be wonderful to have someone to go back to after you’ve broken someone else’s heart.”

Noiz narrowed his eyes. “You can believe what want but I don’t have any feelings towards Aoba.”

Koujaku scoffed. “We’ll see.”

 

 

+

 

 

Koujaku takes pride on being proven that he was right, who wouldn’t?  But seeing Noiz and Aoba’s relationship develop into something grander than a simple friendship made him feel worse for the wear. Being a close friend of Aoba’s doesn’t help the matter that much either. Even though Aoba has been dating Noiz for about four months now, the head rush or that butterfly feeling hasn’t gone away for Aoba yet.

“I don’t know how he does it,” Aoba gushes. They’re hanging out with Mizuki at his bar and it takes all Koujaku has to not be sullen and bitter about it on the outside.

“You deserve to be treated that way,” Koujaku admits. “Everyone deserves a chance at happiness and it looks like you’ve gotten yours.”

Aoba blushes. “Okay, here’s the crazy thing. I know that we’ve been dating for only four months but sometimes I feel like we’ve been together longer. Just the other day, we were talking about kids and stuff and Noiz looked about ready to ask me if I wanted to have kids with him!”

The shot glass in Koujaku’s hand shatters and Mizuki hurries to him. Luckily, none of the debris stuck too deep into his hand.

“You okay?” Aoba asks, his eyes round with concern. “Maybe we need to take you home, make sure you don’t get drunker and injure yourself again.”

Koujaku huffs. “I’m fine,” he waves his bloodied hand around and grimaces when he sees some blood drip down his arm. “Bandage me up and I’ll be good as new.”

“Your hands are important for your work though!” Aoba frets. Mizuki has brought the first-aid kit over and both of them hover over him to treat the wound. Once the wound is treated, Aoba shoves him off his stool. “Get off. We’re going home.”

Koujaku looks to Mizuki for some support and he finds none. Traitor. “Yes, mother,” he mutters and Aoba slaps his shoulder lightly for that.

And just as Koujaku thinks that his night couldn’t get any worse, it does. They weren’t even close by but somehow, Noiz manages to show up. Aoba predictably forgets about Koujaku for a moment and goes to throw himself at Noiz. It’s cute, Koujaku has to admit. Aoba is so wrapped up in Noiz and Noiz is equally devoted to Aoba, it seems. When they kiss, it’s like nothing in the world exists outside of their little bubble.

Something that Koujaku will never experience.

So he leaves the two of them and goes to his house alone. He tries his best not to think about what he used to think was love.

Because he’s tired of living with ghosts. Because he’s tired of feeling his blood run cold every time he thinks about Noiz.

It’s time to let go of the scars and start letting time heal them.

If only he knew how to make that happen.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Gott du bist so gut dafür_ : God you’re so good for this  
>  _Ein spaßiger kleiner Ritt, ja_ : Fun little ride, yes?


End file.
